Kitiara
by XxMiss MusexX
Summary: Kit is criminally insane, but insanity can sometimes lead to wisdom. So, if she's criminally insane, she's criminally wise, right? She scares the crap out of Zim and Dib though! What happens when Dib stumbles upon someone from her past? Chapter 5 is up!
1. Chapter 1

** This is an idea I've had for a while now. I hope you don't kill me. That was totally random, but it's true. :P I thought you knew I was crazy already. Shut up, Nailbunny! Heheh, sorry about that...**

I AM ZIM! (Ya, ok, shut up, we know.)

It was after lunch, about thirty minutes before dismissal. I was just about to die of boredom when Ms. Bitters' phone rang. Another new student probably. I watched as Ms. Bitters shouted multiple curses into the phone for the thousandth time. She hates us all, she can't stand any of us. We have no clue why she still teaches us. I glanced out of boredom at Dib in the seat across the room. If there's a new student, someone's going to the "Underground Classrooms." I really hoped he would fall through that trapdoor. No, it wasn't him. Poor Melvin.

"Class, we have another idiotic cretin joining us today. Her name is Kit, and she is coming right about now," Ms. Bitters announced. Figures.

Sure enough, right after our teacher said that, a tall, slight teenage girl walked in the door. Her cropped hair was black and messy, she had piercing gray eyes, and she wore black skinny jeans and a shirt that said, "I'm dead. Yay." She went straight to the desk that Melvin was just ejected from a minute ago without a word. Ms. Bitters looked at the new arrival expectantly, and Kit stated simply, "It's not polite to stare, ma'am." Ms. Bitters looked surprised at how the new girl spoke back to her, but then turned back to the book she was reading, "How to Kill Your Students and Make It Look Like an Accident." The new girl pulled out her workbook and placed a comic book inside. I think it said JtHM. WTH is JtHM? (A/n, :P)

I tapped the girl on the shoulder and said, "You're disturbing." I have no clue why I said that, even if it was true. She scared me.

"Why, thank you! That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day!" She thanked me. I felt my mouth drop open as she resumed reading the strange comic. Well, it could be, if no one has spoken to this girl today. I watched her with curious eyes as she flipped through the pages intently. "Did you not hear what I said to the old bat at the front of the room? It's not polite to stare," she said, not even looking up from her book. I realized she was watching me from the corner of her eyes when she winked at me. She was definitely not normal.

After skool was over, I followed her discreetly, watching from the trees without my disguise on. I was surprised when she stopped in the middle of her stride, but I sighed in relief as she bent down to tie her boot. Wait, her boots don't have laces. She stuck her leg out and swung it into the tree I was sitting in. I lost my balance and fell to the ground in a heap. She stood up and placed a foot on my chest.

"Uh-uh-uh," she scolded teasingly. "Bad boy." She seemed to not care about the huge red eyes she gazed in, or the antennae above them. "You're weird. Are these things real?" She yanked on my antennae as I yelped in pain. "Looks like they are."

She stood there happily as I squirmed under her boot. I saw my chance and grabbed at her hand as it was pulling away. I pulled on her and she fell to the ground.

"You bastard," she cussed, spitting out blood as she pulled out two knives from her backpack. "Kit isn't short for kitten, you know. It stands for _Kitiara _(A/n, if you have no freaking clue what I'm referring to, read Dragons of Winter Night.)_ ._" She took the knife in her left hand and beckoned me closer. Sensing a challenge, my antennae pressed against my head for battle. We tackled each other, and we ended our fight in a stalemate. I had an Irken gun against her head and she had both knives crisscrossed against my neck. But the real reason we stopped is because Dib was watching us scuffle terrified. Kit put her head down and she started shaking. I thought she was crying at first, but she looked up and I saw she was laughing uncontrollably. A few tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Wow, that was the most fun I've had in _ages_!" She exclaimed. Dib was still frozen in place, looking at Kit, who was literally ROTFLing, and me, without a disguise and antennae perked up. He stared at us for another minute and pulled out his camera. The camera flashed a couple million times a second and I watched in horror. He actually remembered to take the lens cap off this time, and he was using one of those HD cameras, the ones that have like a million pixels per inch. How in Irk did one insane, skinny girl destroy my life? Then again, she was tall…

Before I could continue my train of thought, a knife whizzed past my head and lodged itself into Dib's camera. He stammered and said, with some effort, "I- huh- what-who- who did this?" Kit smiled behind me and jumped into a tree. I saw bright gray eyes look down on me and then disappear. Yeah, she is _not_ normal.

** This is the first and last bottom note I'm putting. Hold on. Well, SCREW YOU, MR. BEAR! YOU SPEAK LIES! LIIIIEEES! STUFFED WITH PURE VENOM, YOU LINT-INFESTED BASTARD! Sorry, what was I talking about? I forget. Oh, well.**


	2. Chapter 2

**:P I'm back! Responding to comments:**

** Invader Blunt: Thank you for knowing good stuff when you see it.**

** invader kit: No offense, but I didn't know you existed…**

** All flamers will be flamed, courtesy of Kit! She likes the new flamethrower I got her, and really wants to try it out… But I wouldn't let her do that, I have my eye on her, and- Wait, where'd she go? Uhh… Yeah, just read this while I search for the Pyromaniac. Oh, and on a completely different note, we are sorry to inform you that Invader Skoodge's charred corpse was found in a dumpster a while ago…**

Hey, it's Dib. I got the code for this somehow, and decided to type every once in a while.

The knife in my camera really bummed me out, despite the fact that I was freaked out by how close that was to hitting _me._ That girl really bothers me, in the sense of, "Oh, my god, I'm gonna freaking DIE! She's gonna pull me apart and feed me to her insanely horrible pet monster!" (A/n, RANDOM THOUGHT TRAIN!) She made me sweat all over, and I stayed as far as possible from her as possible when I could.

Of course, that option was destroyed when Ms. Bitters said, "Dib, you're Kit's partner for some random project that I'm giving out for no real reason. Study Ancient Greece with her, or your father will receive a phone call instructing him to crush you with a mallet. (A/m, I'm very hopped up on sugar and caffeine right now, so shut up!)" Kit glanced over at me, smiled, and waved. I'm gonna die.

At lunch, I saw Kit drawing something in her notebook at her own table. I looked over her shoulder and saw that she was drawing a man. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt, jeans, and a completely blissful smile. She was starting to draw someone next to him, it looked like a woman, just from the way the jaw was drawn, when Kit looked up at me and hissed, "Go away." Fearing for my life, I quickly backed away.

"Sit. You wanna talk to me, right? That's why you came over here," She said, and I quickly did what she told me to, wanting to keep my head on my neck a while longer. "So, I think we should come to my house for the project. It's close to the skool, just a block or two away. Unless you wanna let me into your house?" She smiled slyly, and I wondered if there was the slightest bit of sanity behind those eyes.

"Um, sure, I guess. When?" I wondered.

"Is right after Skool ok?"

"Sure."

Somehow, she was still drawing, even when she looked up at me to speak. "Um, who are you drawing?" I asked.

"Two people I knew a long time ago," She said with pain in her voice. She didn't speak again for the rest of lunch, and I knew better than to push it. She stopped drawing after a while, and set down the notebook. When lunch was over, she immediately left the cafeteria. I was about to follow her when I noticed she left her drawing on the table. I knew I shouldn't have, but I picked it up and flipped through the pages. I saw the one I was looking for and looked over it. The woman next to him looked beautiful. She had long hair that was in a ponytail, but still reached her waist. She was wearing a tank top and a denim skirt. Her eyes sparkled, and the smile on her face was genuine. I was about to close the journal when I saw a page she had colored in. It was the same girl, but with shorter hair, and the same guy, but the guy's skin was green and he had antennae. That's when I realized the girl was Kit.

Does she have a crush on Zim? That's a bit disturbing. Zim has a homicidal secret admirer. Poor him. I remembered whose book this was and tried to return it to her.

_Why did you look at it?_ I thought to myself as I walked to Kit's house with her_. I never would have even risked her getting mad at me on purpose. But I just did!_ I'm confusing myself. I shook my head to try to clear my head. Unfortunately, Kit noticed.

"You seem distracted. Do you have a secret or what?" She asked. Dang! She's really observant.

"Well, you see, I-" My explanation was cut short as she held a hand to my face.

"Shh," she interrupted. She shook the tree next to us and Zim fell out, flabbergasted. (A/n, Heehee. Funny word.) "Stalking little girls again? You should be ashamed, Zim," she chasted playfully. _Flirting_, I thought.

"Zim comes for your help, Kit-human." My jaw dropped open as he said that. Zim's asking someone else for help?

"With what? I don't suppose you need a C in Math, do you?" Kit teased.

"Well, Zim does, but I was going to ask you to teach me how to fight," he explained, and got down on his knees. "Please?" He begged.

"Ok, first lesson," she announced, and flipped Zim onto his back with a really hard kick to the head. "Never make yourself vulnerable to the enemy." She left him there and dragged me to her house.

When we got there, Kit took it upon herself to show me around her house. She showed me the bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and pool.

"I don't really have anywhere to sit, sorry, because I find walking more soothing. We'll work in my bedroom," she explained. (A/n, I actually do that, weird, huh?)

"So, why don't you live with your parents?" I asked her.

She looked at me and said emotionlessly, "They died in a car crash a few years ago. A man was drunk and reckless and hit them into the lake. I was with my friend, on the other side of town, when it happened. It still hurts when I realize I'm the last one alive in my family. I'm all that's left." I noticed bags under her eyes as she said that, as if she hadn't slept in weeks.

Changing the subject, I pointed to a door she hadn't opened and asked, "What's in there?"

"Bad memories and heartbreak. Feel free to look. I'm gonna just start the project. I'll be in my room if you need me," she whispered emptily. I opened the door slowly, curiosity taking over me. I saw drawings and photographs of the people I saw in the notebook earlier. I face-palmed as I realized the guy with green skin and antennae had orange eyes, not red. Wait, she knew another Irken? I looked on the back and saw the subtitles. "Marcus and Kitiara, 2009." So, the alien's name was Marcus? I walked into Kit's bedroom again. It had dark purple walls, a weird symbol on the rug, (A/n, It's not Satanic, it's Linkin Park. :P) and the bed had a bedspread that had Amy Lee on it. (From Evanescence.) I watched as Kit turned on her laptop and typed up a title, "Ancient Greece, Comedies and Tragedies."

" Um, do you wanna do some research now, or later? It's actually getting pretty late," I inquired.

"Just go," she commanded. "I'll do the whole report for you. Just… Just go, ok?" I obviously brought up something really personal in her, and I really didn't want to overstay my welcome in _her_ home. So, I left, and tossed and turned all night, wondering about Marcus, and how Kit knew him. I wondered until I wondered myself to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**HELLO, PEOPLEZ OF TEH WORLD!**

** Responding to Comments:**

** Invader Blunt: Glad to know you have a serious side! Wow, a 9.5? You love me! You really love me! LOL! **

** dib rocks zim not: I don't quite agree with your name, I love them both equally. But I just thought you should know I'm listening to Breaking the Habit as I write this chapter. :P**

** Invader Misty: Hooray for randomness! No, I think Nny would try to kill her before she tried to befriend him.**

** CityGirl1013: Yay! W00t! Cherry on top! I'm so very random! I'm ending this discussion now! I'm getting kind of bored!**

** invader kit: Ya, I already did the psychic thing with a different character though, so I would just be being repetitive.**

** So, right now, Kit's in a straight jacket and she's gnawing through it pretty quickly. So, read this and enjoy it as I tie her up in chains.**

Kit here.

~Dream~

I stood in the field behind his base as he loaded his ship.

"Marcus," I pleaded. "Marcus, please don't go! You're all I have left. Don't go, don't leave me here." I felt a few tears roll down my cheeks. He looked as heartbroken as I felt. His large orange eyes cried too.

"Kit, I love you, don't forget that," he told me. "I have to leave, if I don't, I'll be an exile and a defect. I'm being promoted to General, but as soon as I can, I'll come back, and we'll be happy together. I promise." More tears fell down our faces as we kissed. "Wait for me, please."I was lost in his orange eyes as he said this, and I merely nodded, unable to speak. We kissed each other one last time and I held him close. He left, and I cut off all the hair that he loved. It reminded me too much of him.

~Reality~

I woke up, tears rolling down my face. He's gone, wake _up_, already, Kit! I thought to myself. I got up and polished my arsenal. I actually barely use any of them, but they were a gift from- I shook my head clear to get that name out of my head. I got dressed and had breakfast, nothing much, just some eggs. I poked at my food, not really hungry at all. I've been having the same dream every night since he left. For 7 months, he has been all I can think about. I wish he would come back, I need him here.

"Stop thinking that!" I shouted to myself.

"Um, Kit-worm?" I heard the voice of the Irken boy ask tentatively from behind the door. Dang it! He heard me!

I opened the door to reveal the alien, Zim. "What?"

"Uh, Kit, why have you been crying?" He asked. I realized I had a tear still trying to escape, and quickly wiped it off.

"You would laugh," I muttered.

"Zim must know, tell Zim!" he commanded, looking ridiculous. He always did, but he was looking even more ridiculous than usual.

"Look, why are you here?" I asked, trying to change the subject. "It's a Saturday, don't you have a social life you should be getting back to?"

"You said you would teach Zim. Teach me now!" He shouted.

"Oh, yeah, I guess I did. Darn it," I cursed. "There goes every hour of my free time." I actually was looking forward to fighting with him. It gave me something to do. "Oh, and take that ridiculous disguise off. It'll cloud your vision," I told him. He did, and I changed my clothes. Now I was wearing a white tank top and black gym shorts. "Ok, now, first rule?" I asked him, hinting at our discussion yesterday.

"Keep your attention on your opponent," he answered.

"Right, now what's the second rule?" I asked, slowly inching my way around him. I lunged at him before he could answer, and whispered in his ear, "Don't let your opponent distract you."

"No fair! I didn't know we started!" He complained.

"Well, with me," I explained, "it's learn fast or die."

We fought for another hour or two, until we both collapsed exhausted.

"Ok, Zim… says we… should… stop…stop now," he gasped, and I agreed.

"So, what can you eat? That won't kill you or anything, I mean," I wondered.

"Fruit," he answered simply, and collapsed on the kitchen table. Maybe I should get some chairs, I thought to myself. I cut the leaves off some strawberries and put them in a bowl. When I put them on the table, he ate a few at a time.

"Wow, were you hungry or something?" I asked.

"No," he mumbled through bites. "I just haven't eaten for a week."

"No, I mean, you're eating a lot. Don't Irkens usually eat like, a pound of food a week or something?" I thought.

He froze. "How did you know that?"

I froze up, too. "Uh, well, I, um, kind of was, um, in love with a, uh, Irken named Marcus…" I mumbled.

"General Marcus of the Fourth Division? He controls half the Irken army! And he was just betrothed to Ryn Pilo!" He shouted.

I got even stiffer. "He WHAT? After all this time, all the tears I've cried, all the time I've wasted grieving over HIM! And he just blows it off for some girl? Rrgh!" I shouted. I saw Zim quickly dart away, not wanting to be around when I explode. Smart guy.


	4. Chapter 4

** Hello! I am very tired right now, so I need to drink some coffee. ~sips~ COFFEE! Ok, now that that's out of the way, **

** Responding to comments:**

** invader kit: First of all, you're lazy. Secondly-**

**-Kitiara: YES HE DID! THAT DOUBLECROSSING TWO-TIMER!**

**-Me: Ok, ok, if you think that, you think that.**

** Invader Blunt: ~Gasp~ Another .2 points! That means the WORLD to me!**

** And also, I'm really, really, really, really, really, really, REALLY sorry it took so long to update. Um, ok, I need to stop Kit from stealing Zim's ship and mutilating Marcus. So, bye.**

I AM IRONMAN! Nah, I'm just kidding with you. I'm Dib. And I heard some pretty weird stuff when I passed Kit's house on the way home from Suck Monkey. There were crashes and curses and screams flying everywhere.

"THAT JERK! THAT MORONIC BASTARD! WHY I EVER THOUGHT HE EVER-! GAH!" I heard Kit yell as more crashes echoed throughout the house. A picture frame flew through a window and landed at my feet. Careful of the broken glass, I picked it up. It was a picture of Marcus and Kit sitting in what I guessed was his house. She had put a giant X across his face in red marker. I think she might have been the slightest bit mad at him. I walked up to the door, and was about to knock when I hesitated. That, "OH MY FREAKING GOD! I'M GONNA DIE!" feeling had popped up in the back of my head. Then it quickly faded as she screamed into the air one last time and started to sob.

I resolved to knock, and when I did, Kit screamed, "GO AWAY!" and resumed sobbing.

I knew that I was going to die for this, but I opened the door and knelt down to where Kit was crying and bleeding on the floor. "How'd you cut your hand?" I asked, startled by the gash.

"I broke a mirror, four eyes, now go away," she said. I refused and kept talking to her. She told me about Zim coming over, and what he said.

"Kit, I intercepted that transmission. Marcus was _demoting_ Ryn, not betrothed to her," I explained. Her eyes widened and she kicked the table.

"I still can't forgive him," she whispered, eyes on the ground. "He left me here, to rot like the rest of humanity. I will never forgive him for that." Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. I opened the door for Kit since she was still sobbing on the ground.

I opened the door to see a man with a white t-shirt, jeans, and red hair. But what I noticed were his eyes. They were_ orange._

I heard Kit gasp behind me and turned to face her. "Marcus?" She whispered incredulously. He smiled and nodded, and she walked up to him. I half-expected them to kiss or embrace each other, but Kit ran up to him and punched him in the face. "YOU IDIOT!" She screamed at the Irken on the floor. "I HATE YOU! It's been a year, whatever happened to 'soon'?" She ran into her room and slammed the door.

Marcus just stayed where he lay on the floor, and said, "I think she is a bit upset at me." I agreed and helped the alien up. "What's with her?" he asked. "Her hair, she cut it off."

"I think she did it after you left, I've only seen her with her hair short," I admitted. "She's been really depressed since you left. If I were you, I would stay away from her for a while." He ignored me and went to her door. I left and thought, Oh, well. His funeral.

(Marcus's POV)

Hey, I'm Marcus. I went to Kitiara's door and begged her to open the door. Eventually she did and dragged me inside before I could speak.

"You moron!" she insulted me. "I waited for you and you didn't come back. What's worse, you left immediately after my family died! I was the last member of the Young family and I was the only one at the funeral! Do you have any idea how lost I felt? My whole life crashed on my shoulders and you left me with the burden!" She screamed, and tears rolled down her face. I gently wiped one off with my finger and she said menacingly, "Get out."

"But, Kitiara, I-"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" She screamed, and threw anything she could get her hands on at me. I ran outside, and watched as she slammed her door and locked it. I smiled, an idea forming in my head. Kitiara's class is going to have a new student tomorrow.

(Zim's POV)

I am the amazingly, ~yawn~, tired Zim. I was so tired, I was drifting off as Ms. Bitters announced, "We have a new student joining your miserable ranks, and he needs somewhere to sit." She looked around the classroom and pointed at the worm-baby behind Kit. He was sucked down into the floor with what seemed like an enormous vacuum. My eyes widened under my lenses as the second tallest Irken in the empire, General Marcus, sat down behind the Kit-human. (A/n, the only ones taller than Marcus are the Tallests.)

He looked at me knowingly and saluted. I saluted back, and noticed every girl in the class was pretty much drooling over the general.

I passed a note to him that read, "Sir, if you don't mind me asking, why are you on Earth?"

He wrote underneath it, "Kitiara. I met her when I was scouting this planet to see if it was of any value. She was the most valuable thing I could find here. I'm surprised they sent an Invader here, actually. I'm even more surprised they sent _you._ I went through training with you. I remember because you were the only one to blow up a teacher." I let my head fall down in embarrassment. I remembered him suddenly. He was the only one who ever questioned the need for a society based on height. But still, he was now in control of half the Irken Armada because he was 6'9". I watched as Marcus passed a note to the Kit-girl in front of him. She read it, wrote something, then quickly crumpled it and threw it at his head. It landed at my feet, and I picked it up and read it.

Marcus wrote: "I'm sorry."

Kit wrote: "Go to hell."

I gave the paper to Marcus, and his face darkened. He obviously was hoping for a better response. I wondered if I should get involved, but quickly decided this was the general's battle, not mine.


	5. Chapter 5

**RRRGH! I'm stuck again! Whenever I get a new idea for a story, I completely forget the one I'm working on! I HATE it! Anyway, **

** Responding to comments:**

** Marcus is contacting the Tallests right now. Wanna watch with me?**

It's General Marcus. I contacted the Tallests after my first day at Skool.

"My Tallests," I greeted my leaders. (The rest of this is in script form)

Pur: "Oh, hey, Marcus. Wanna Donut?"

Mar: "No thank you."

Red: "I'm actually glad you called, General. We've finally decided to destroy Earth. Isn't it great?" (A/n, They don't know Marcus is on Earth.)

Mar: "But what about the Invader stationed there? Won't he be destroyed as well?"

Pur: "Good riddance!"

Red: "Yeah, it's Zim. He was the reason Impending Doom 1 AND 2 was ruined. Impending Doom 3 would be better off without him."

CPU: TRANSMISSION ENDED


End file.
